Update

As you may recall from a previous post, I vowed to start tracking what I eat, take pictures of myself through the process and measure myself. I have just completed my first week and I have stuck to all my resolutions. I have to say that weighing in on Sunday sucks. I spent Saturday night sitting around because I did not want to go out and ruin all my hard work for the week. Next Sunday I will be in Colorado Springs so I will not be able to weigh in (more on the trip in a minute). The results of tracking, weighing in on Sunday and taking pictures of myself have been good. I am down 6.6 pounds and 4.5 inches overall. This is the result that I was hoping for. My first mini goal is approximately 6.4 pounds away. I would like to get to this weight by summer. The real summer, not the one we are currently experiencing :).

I have a rough few weeks ahead of me weight loss wise. My last day at Wausau Manor was on Friday and I do not start at the new facility until April 11th. As you all know, I thrive on routine. I also do not do well sitting around the house. I have already went grocery shopping for this week and I didn't buy anything that would lead my astray. On Thursday, March 29th I will be flying out to Colorado Springs to visit my good friend Brionne. I will be there until Monday (I arrive back in Wausau on Monday night). When I am away from home I tend to eat more and this concerns me. Of course, I want to try the local stuff but I need to make sure that I do not go overboard. I did well when we went on the cruise a year ago. I think I gained about 2-3 pounds which I didn't think was bad since I was surrounded by buffets and food everywhere. I really need to tell myself that the reward is the time with my good friend and seeing a new place. I need to listen to my body and eat when I am hungry. And if that were easy for me I wouldn't overweight :). I plan to stay on track throughout the week and workout Sunday (done)-Thursday to help counter any treats that I might have while I am out there. I will let you all know how it goes.

Sunday, bloody Sunday.

I have been lax in my tracking my eating lately which has led to a plateau. Anyone on my facebook page knows that I have been working out like crazy. I am proud of this. I am actually sitting here today feeling bad that I am not going to run. I cannot even tell you the last day that I didn't work out (I just checked and it was Thursday, February 23rd). Mind you, I plan to take a walk in this beautiful weather. Besides, my knee has been bugging me and I probably should rest it by doing something less strenuous. I digress. ANYWAY, with that kind of working out (running, boxing, weightlifting) I should be losing weight. I am sure you can all figure out that I am writing this because I haven't been losing weight. I know that it all comes down to my eating. Food is my drug. I turn to it for all matters. I lose control around it. I wish that I could have candy/chocolate/cake/sweets in the house and be able to eat a normal amount and forget about it. I wish that I didn't like to go out to eat so much. I also wish that I could feel good ordering healthy food at a restaurant. Mind you, I have made some gains in the eating department. I can no longer eat at most fast food burger joints. I also have lost all cravings for doughnuts (I don't like how I feel after eating doughnuts or fast food).

I like to polish things off. If we have cookies I feel like I need to eat them all as quickly as possible. I cannot stop thinking about them until they are gone. I just polished off the leftover rice krispy treats. I wasn't even hungry! Speaking of, I like to eat. It doesn't matter if I am hungry. To make matters worse, I very rarely feel full.

I still have some weight to lose. Ideally, I would like to lose another 40 pounds. In order to this I need to get my eating under control. I am proud that I have exercising under control. This will be my toughest struggle yet. I continue to subscribe to Weight Watchers online. I plan to start tracking my points and actually writing down what I eat. I also plan to weigh in on Sundays. I tend to eat terribly during the weekends and I hope that weighing in on Sundays will help to curb that bad habit. I also plan to buy a measuring tape and start taking measurements as well as weekly pictures. I am going to do some reading this weekend to encourage good eating. I plan to put this all in place this Sunday 3/18/12. It is written here so that I hold myself accountable. Please feel free to assist me in this. I am not looking for 100% accuracy as that would be setting myself up for failure. Ultimately, I need to find happiness in things not related to food. I need to create a different relationship with food. This will be tough stuff.

I welcome your feedback.

The mirror

For most of my life the mirror has been enemy #1. Pictures are enemy #2. You would not believe the things that come out of my mouth when I look at pictures of myself or in the mirror. I am terrible. I find this funny because if someone spoke to me like that I would slap them. On Sunday I took a ballroom dancing class with some friends. The studio had a big gigantic mirror in it that I was forced to look into. For once in a long time I did not criticize. I did not hate what I saw. I actually liked the image being projected back in the mirror. It was a huge day for me. I just thought I would share :).

Quote

I saw this quote today and I wanted to share it. I feel like I need to make it my mantra. Here it is:

"Take all the time you need to heal emotionally. Moving on doesn’t take a day; it takes lots of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self. Never let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life. Just because today is a painful doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be great. You just got to get there. The best things usually happen when you least expect it. So try to smile in the mean time. Not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and grateful for all the good things you do have and all the problems you know you don’t have." – via: http://www.marcandangel.com/